Game are for EVERYBODY. I’m Patrick Gill… bert. Patrick, watch out there’s a zombie. Hey, you know what? E3, baby. Just tear that up. Here, give me a taste. Take that anime. I’m just looking at the big posters because that’s what I do whenever I’m sensory overloaded. He’s recycling it, just keep that in mind, because we have to make sure we take care of our planet. This says Fate Extello on it. That’s wonderful. There’s Pokémon space! I’ve got to go to Pokémon space! And I like to root for the underdogs, like Gamespot. And Ridley’s in Smash and that’s, uh, the best thing. You were too focused on GameSpot and not, uh… me. There are a lot of things that are larger than me. I don’t want an inkling to be one of those things. I mean, come on, Kirby. We’ve got professional streamers. Uh, you are better than an assist trophy, Waluigi. You deserve more than that and everyone, uh, loves you so much. Pobody’s nerfect. John Deere, the best video game of 2019. Coming out 2019. They’re finally releasing John Deere. This is actually CGI. What you don’t know is that I can put my hand right through it. I’ve had only two sips of burnt coffee this morning and an emergency. They got really nice jerseys. What… has our youth come to. It’s amazing! I never thought I’d see a real life PlayStation. We’re in the great white void. Ooh, there’s another hall, Pat Gill? (Pat: Yeah!) Excuse me?! They finally got it! (Pat: This way!) Ooookay. So finally I can hang out with real gamers, um, who love to hold controllers. This was always where I expected myself to die. Was in E3. This is the chicken nugget station. Now the audio so clear and there’s like there’s so [unintelligible]. We’re on official bimbus. [smacking noises] *Siren in the distance* That was a siren. I hope you got to hear that. [Brian’s voice] Hey, I’m Pat Gill, and the only game that I enjoyed this entire E3 press conference was the funko gears. [Pat’s voice] Guh, my name’s Brian David Gilbert and, uh one time I was playing Nintendo and I thought I was doing a good job but it turns out that it wasn’t even plugged into the console! It was my mom! My mom was hiding under my couch playing the video games for me so I could feel like I was a true gamer. This is where the little boys play. Oops, I did it again! [manical laughter] Oh, hey everyone. Uhh, Brian’s a little too cool for school now and let me show you why. Did you get a good shot, Pat? We’ve got, uh, that game where they’re crowdsourcing art despite the fact that Ubisoft is a multinational, multi-billion-dollar company. With, you know, the well documented Uhh, uh. health detriments of video games, you think they sould call it INactivision. I don’t know if we will be able to… but I can look at a big DOOM man. Now I’m being peer-pressured. He’s very strong. I’ve seen him throw axes. Oh, you know what? (Brian: It looks like they’re having some technical difficulties-) It broke, it broke! [Laughter] So I’m gonna put this, like, really close to my face and I’m gonna give winks. And a big ol’ uh, Toyota Prius. Ooh! Can we go to Jurassic World? Can I see a dinosaur? No running in E3. Takin’ a big steppy. It’s day one of E3, and I’m already out of content, folks. Not enough places where I can, uh, hit a hammer against something? Um, many places for me to look at large posters. Uh, once again, thank you every- ooh, what do you got there for snacks? Thank you so much for joining us.