Ozzy Man Reviews: Canadian Arrest

Welcome to Canada. We’ve seen slippery traffic jams and a woman throwing her feces in Tim Hortons. Now, let’s have a look at a couple trying to escape a ready Mart convenience store. This bloke is not afraid to use his girlfriend as a human shield. She attaches herself to a police officer like a fucken face hugger in “Aliens”. Meanwhile, a courageous civilian executes a tremendous stronghold. And the poor owner only ever wanted to provide a positive retail experience. Ohh it looks like the wanker has broken the stronghold. He wants to run out the back. That idea is fucked. He considers the toilet. The officer has managed to shake off the face hugger. He’s yelling “Stop being a dickhead”. “Don’t throw the starburst. Don’t do it.” “Get on the ground your wanker bastard motherfucken fuckwit.” “I know the floor is cold, but that’s your fault for losing your shirt.” “Don’t move.” The robber decides to move. He tries to negotiate. The face hugger approaches, but the officer says “No no not again”. It’s likely she already planted an egg in him. OHH!!! Was that a Taser to the face?!?! Crikey. Happy Fucken Canada Day. It’s come a week early for this dodgy couple. She’s decided she’s had enough of all the fighting. She reckons she can find her own way out. The officer is saying “Sorry, sorry I tased you in the eyeball”. The robber says “Ah yea, no worries”. “I didn’t feel a bloody thing mate.” And he’s on the run again. There is a solid hip and shoulder. Is he gonna get wrapped up once more? Yea, I think he is. I hope she gets positive “Google Reviews” after this. Back near the toilet, the face hugger sheila is doing her best to escape. It looks like she spotted a secret tunnel. She’s gonna crawl through it. Luckily, she has worn her workout clothes. So this shouldn’t be a problem. Yep. All good. OH NO!!! I Take That Back, There’s A Problem!!! She’s lost a shoe! Fuck me dead!!! It’s like the nice lady behind the counter has planted traps. Look at her. She could be jigsaw. That was a huge tumble through the roof. Surely that was the climax. This is coming to an end. Yeah, there’s more officers on the scene. I think that’s all of Canada’s law enforcement. They refuse to call in backup from America. Yea nah, it’s under control. It’s all good.

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