(Whip cracking) Michael: What’s up? What’s up? What’d you remember?
(Geoff laughing) Geoff: I did– I remember something I did in high school.
Lindsay: God. Ryan: Oh, no.
Michael: Yep. Geoff: I had–
Michael: Did they ever find the body? Geoff: I had this teacher in biology class, I’ve talked about her before; I won’t say her name. She’s… Geoff: I didn’t like her. Geoff: Uh, I one time hid her car keys, and then I forgot that I did it. Geoff: Well, I just left class. Geoff: And then, like, 2 days later, I saw her pulling up in a cab at school.
(Ryan chuckling) Geoff: (cackling) And then I said… Geoff: “Why are you in a cab?” Geoff: And she goes, Geoff: “I can’t find my keys anywhere!” (Geoff cackling) Geoff: She had no access to her car! Lindsay: Wow. Geoff: I had just handed them– Geoff: I had hid them in the aquarium in the class. (laughter) Michael: You put ’em, like, in a fish tank? Geoff: I put ’em in the fish tank! Michael: Fucking hell, man. Gavin: That’s so bad; what if she had shit to do? Michael: I’m sure she had shit to do. Geoff: She’s taking a cab to school!
Gavin: She had, like, a hospital appointment or something?
Michael: For sure. For sure. Geoff: She was so mad!
Lindsay: God… Geoff: And I was like (disgusted noise)! Michael: Man, you got a bad rap, Geoff. Geoff: Oh, man, I’ve… Geoff: That was the class I spent almost the entire year sitting outside the classroom. Geoff: Sometimes I’d come in and sit in the desk, and she would look at me, and she’d go, Geoff: “Not today.” Geoff: But I’m like, Geoff: “What? I’ve done anything yet.” Geoff: And she’s like, Geoff: “I can tell.” Geoff: “Today’s gonna be a day.” Geoff: “Get outside.” Gavin: Oh, you had that “Geoff look” in your eye?
Geoff: And I’d be, like… Ryan: Oh, yeah, we’re familiar with that look.
Geoff: I’d be, like, “Okay”, Geoff: And I would just go sit there with my biology book.
Michael: Yeah. You haven’t gotten better. Ryan: No, that’s… it’s to this day.
Lindsay: To be fair… Geoff: I’ve gotten a lot better. Michael: Did you also sit down in class sometimes and go, (Heath Ledger Joker laughter) Lindsay: Probably. Lindsay: I’m sure.
Michael: And the teacher was like… (Geoff laughing) Michael: “I’m done.” (Laughter) Geoff: I have gotten a lot better.
Michael: Geoff, they’re onto you! Geoff: I used to be a real prick. Lindsay: She really wasn’t about, like, reacting to a look, like a scheme you were planning, Lindsay: I think she was just, like, Lindsay: “Don’t exist today, Geoff.” Lindsay: “If you could not be around me, or just, like, never be alive, that would be great.”
Gavin: You got vetoed. Geoff: Somebody asked if I gave her keys back. Geoff: No. Geoff: What happened was…
Lindsay: What? Geoff: I used to love to hide her… Geoff: She was blind as shit. Geoff: And she would put her glasses down…
Michael: Take that. Geoff: …when she would go to do something else, and so one… Michael: What the– doesn’t it work…
Geoff: I– I couldn’t figure out…
Ryan: “Went into the aquarium.” Geoff: I couldn’t figure out how to get her keys out of the aquarium without getting in trouble. (Michael laughing)
Geoff: So… Geoff: I doubled down by putting her glasses in the aquarium really visibly, and then one of the other kids saw it, and was like, Geoff: “There’s your glasses!”
Michael: Fish should do it, then. Geoff: And then when she went over to get her glasses out, she saw her key. Ryan: Wait a minute.
Geoff: That’s how we got ’em out. Ryan: So your secret to giving away where the keys were, without showing that it was you… Ryan: …was to put something else IN THE SAME HIDING SPOT! Geoff: Yeah, but more visible. But more visible.
Ryan: And *that* she wouldn’t… Geoff: You thought she wouldn’t put the two and two together… Geoff: AND IT WORKED! Michael: Also, something that she needed, with glasses. Geoff: Yeah.
Michael: Couldn’t take a… Michael: “Can I–” Michael: “I need a cab and glasses, please.” Geoff: To be fair… to me. Michael: Here we go. Geoff: She fucking sucked Bah! Humbug. Holidays are the worst. But Papa needs a new speedboat. So make sure you click that link and visit the Rooster Teeth store. Now!