The Secret to Making Things Happen | Steve Sims, Founder of The Bluefish

The Secret to Making Things Happen | Steve Sims, Founder of The Bluefish

All right, we quite understand we are ready to go If I tell you I’m brilliant. Mm-hmm, it’s marketing branding and self-promotion. Mm-hmm. If your best friend tells you I’m brilliant It’s gospel. So we learn very early on that is not what I do that’s important. It’s what you want me to do So we became that person whatever you wanted to do wherever you wanted to go. You want to do some travel stuff Yeah, we can organise that. You want to go down and see a Titanic? Yeah, well organize that you want to hang out get a guitar lesson from ZZ Top or drum lesson from Guns and Roses Yeah, well handle all of that, you know So Steve, what is the relationship between passion and getting results Jesus you went in quick didn’t ya? Yeah, I think Passion actually evokes a certain kind of Stupidity ignorance to anything Failing when you’re really passionate about something a lot of logic goes by the wayside and so you get to achieve More things so I found very early on that if someone wasn’t really passionate about something Then it was very hard to achieve but as soon as passion came in The walls will leave in ya, and you could just achieve so much more So passion is the fuel of which the amazing things get done. Yeah, so like what would be an example of that? I had I’m trying to think of one there would be a good good antidote for it I had a client that wanted to have a meal in Italy and he wanted to have the most amazing meal They could ever be had and he didn’t want it replicated by anyone else. He was very affluent. It was from Northern Europe so he was quite a strong man of power and shall we say But he wanted to be able to use this as a boasting thing, and he wanted a very exclusive restaurant influence What a bottom line of it is is there’s no such thing as an exclusive restaurant in Florence. That kind of precociousness is reserved for London, New York You know Miami LA you don’t get it influence if you walk into a restaurant in Florence and you want a table or two Don’t be surprised if you stack stuck on a table of ten and you’ve just got a couple of seats at the end By the end of it, you just ended up with ten more people in your family. You know, it’s that kind of thing That’s why people love tusks and living so we had to create something for him But he had so much passion behind wanting to make sure there was some Renaissance behind it And he wanted to do it to be cultured that we actually managed to talk the Accademia museum that houses Michelangelo’s David Into closing down for us and then once we got that and this is where the stepping stones of passion go We were able to convince Andre Bocelli to come in and actually serenade the clients halfway through dinner Which we set up at the feet of Michelangelo’s David. So when you go to someone with something that’s out of this world and crazy Then they’re gonna be looking at you. Cynically. If you go to them showing there’s something that’s out of this world and crazy and exciting Then they want to be involved in it I believe their passion is the drug of choice for most people you have someone crying you have someone laughing people are gonna want to Hang with the person laughing So if you can get passionate and really engrossed in something you want Then you can actually bring those people into your passion if you get them as an advocate to your passion Job’s done. So how do you communicate that then to other people if you’re excited about something? how how do you get other people on board that sadly is the the bigger question and Sadly that that part of your questions got sorrell to do with passion. It’s got everything to do with the communication of it Now and this work, yeah my soapbox we’re at a moment in time where communication is a dying skillset and you see the top of heads of most people nowadays, you know people go into a restaurant and Dad down on their phone, you know You get a bunch of kids a restaurant and the bloody texting each other what they want to eat? Rather than just asking each other The one that really annoys me is when you’re in a coffee shop and someone’s asking for coffee while checking their their emails No eye contact and I know some people in the military just say that the youngsters that are coming in now a lot of them have trouble with with command presence which was a term that Sasha Larkin actually told me about and she’s with the Las Vegas police force and these people are coming in They don’t have that command presence because of the eye contact eye Contacts going how to actually communicate with people is dying and they were lying on these social platforms to actually be sociable which Culinary social platform is like calling cancer a common cold. It couldn’t be more dangerous. We are losing the ability to communicate Once you know how to communicate Then you can actually listen to someone and go Okay, what’s exciting you and then they tell you what’s exciting you and how can that happen? and will if we do this is that really going to wake you up at two o’clock in the morning once you’ve got that out once you’ve used your inner indiana jones Are you in a sherlock to get out of that person what really excites them then you can go I got it I know exactly where you’re coming from and Then you can go to someone and like I do I will speak to someone I’ll say look I’ve got something that straight off the bat is gonna sound Ridiculous, but crazy people do crazy things shall we get crazy and People suddenly start looking. Alright, what what’s coming and then you go I’ve got this story to tell you it’s this couple and they want to do something magical Influence. Can you imagine? This story for years for decades because I’m sure as hell if you let us do this Now if you’re gonna allow it to happen again and if he’s ever done again There was only ever the first time that it was done once you know so get them into that kind of mold get them buying into your dream, but first of all, The point is to find out why it’s passionate For that person and to be able to harness it to be able to communicate it someone else So the key there is actually not the passion but the communication of that passion Yeah it sounds like it’s a lot about listening to how do you how do you Like how do you ask the right questions to get that passion out of people? We’re all geniuses up until about the age of five and then we started becoming stupid Yeah, and we became stupid because we were told by our parents me included you don’t call in that Oh, no, you don’t say that now. Let’s be honest. I walked down the road boys We were in a pub and I look at you and I say I’ve really done like your haircut Okay Straightaway you’ve reacted. Yeah within a split second you’ve reacted but if I text you that You know then I don’t know what your reaction is. I don’t know whether you’re laughing. You’re crying. You’re angry We’re losing the ability to gauge reaction off of anybody and that’s the issue that we’ve got So when we were younger and we would walk up to Johnny in the playground and say Johnny you’re fat Er the last cries or punches you in the face, but you had a reaction and you learned from that reaction Now we’re in a situation. We’ll actually Losing that so what we’ve got to do and one of the things that I do When I go along and I speak and I consult with people is they get you back being five? I get you back to being coarse and ugly and more Because it was coarse ugly and more then we can polish it a little bit But if I argue with you for half an hour, you’re gonna probably guess I’ve got a problem with you But if I punch you in the head to first second I see you you’re gonna come to the exact same assumption but a lot faster, okay So I’m there – can I try and get people to? Reverse engineer everything they’ve learned About the wrong art of communication and getting back to a point where we sit down and go. I’ve got a problem Can we see what can handle it? This is what I’m gained and how many times when people talk you go. Hang on No, you didn’t hear me whine you got on so sorry I’ll bet that’s been how many times is an app all the time all the time Yeah, but if you’re leaving it to email and text especially over email texts. Ah, yeah. Well, there was a scientist guy Million times smarter than me, which is not really a long shot in He did this summary that said that there were eight people the read your email and it was these different States of your mind through the day based on what was happening to you at that moment Was to how you actually read that email so you could turn around of someone and go Steve beer tonight 7:00 p.m. And if he’s in a good mood, he’s gonna go. Yeah, great. Let’s go out of it Yeah, and you’re gonna text back or email back and go great. See you there But if he’s in a bad mood, he’s gonna look at that as demanding hmm as though it may be like or authority now you’re trying to demand that he be there why you know No, I can’t make it I’d be there at 7:30 all of a sudden that game starts to happen And you get a email go was he being a prick, you know? So all of these things are changing and as I say social is not social So it really means that we’ve got a reverse engineer or D learn What we’ve been learning over the past years and get back to making phone calls One of my little tips and tricks that I do is we have no email Tuesday, okay We literally we call it no email choose to you can have no email Wednesday, but we think no email choose T. Sounds better But a bottom line of it is for the first hour We check all of our me else and then for the rest of the day We communicate with our clients by every other form other than email and you know the DAF thing that happens and my team really enjoyed this now is I get an email and I look at the email and then I phoned up when I go. Well, how you doing? Four start nine times out of ten will surprise ease getting a call from me Because how many people actually use their smartphones to actually phone anyone now, okay So I’m phoning up well and say well I got your email and yeah You laid it out there the kind of stuff that you’re looking for But I wanted to just chat with you to see if there’s anything that we’re missing There’s never been a call that I’ve made Where it hasn’t changed the dynamic or request of what the original email was because they’ve gone. Well, that’s fantastic Yeah, you want to do this and you want to do it in Miami and you want to do in July? But have you thought about the fact that it’s Halle cane season? Mm-hmm, you know, no I haven’t thought about that You you’ve just saved yourself backwards and forwards, you know, and you’ve been able to just breathe and say well, that’s great But you know, have you thought about doing it near a home we could therefore Increase the experience because we’ve now lowered the travel budget. Mmm Why never thought about that, you know? So it’s just all these kind of elements the dynamic change has changed every time we’ve done that on those no email choosing zin the communications Video text audio text there’s a million ways. You can actually do it sending someone a letter I love sending post Mm-hmm, but any other way other than was spawned into that email So we try to teach people and I urge anybody listening and watching to just try to get back to being five Try to get back to the the ugly role and the impactful way to communicate where you say something the other person reacts You can respond to that reaction bacon was bought that’s communication. Mmm So you talked about being really raw But at the same time there’s there’s a stuff around you you were your corporate The Wizard of Oz and there’s this Talk of magic and desire and passion all these all these very pretty things. How how do you bridge that? How are you giving people something that is really desirable kind of a fan So I’ve never given anyone anything that they asked for I’ve already I’ve always given them what they desired and needed Yeah And the trick the hack if you want to call it is to do this really stupid thing called listening And I said to you at the beginning about Indiana Jones Sherlock Holmes We’re like psychiatrists, you know someone I’ll give you another story if it doesn’t please I had this guide contact me and he was referred to me from Richard Branson and He contacted me and he said hey, you’re apparently the guy that I should speak to. I want to meet the rock band Journey Hmm, so I said to him and if this is all video, so I’m not gonna mention his name But there’s there’s actually a whole live show on this thing and I turned around and I said it sounds great Send me ten grand or we’ll make it happen. And that was the end of the conversation I emailed him my address and told him well sudden check. Okay, I had no idea if we could do it I had no idea if I wanted to do it But the first thing I wanted to do before I spy my wills is to know how committed he was. Okay He sent me a check couple days later. I got the check. So then I phoned about when I go Okay. I know you’re real now I’m not gonna do anything with his check because it’s gonna cost way more than that, but let’s have a chat Let’s find out. Why what you’re trying to do list Let’s get the reason why so I said to him, you know, what do you want to do? He said I want to meet journey great. Okay, why? Now why seems to be an offensive word to so many people I have people contact me on Facebook and all these other platforms and they go Hey We should talk and I just eat I just text them or email it back or however and I just go why hmm? And quite similarly. I want to know why should we chat make it interesting. Why should we communicate? Why should I take time out of my day? What’s important here? Yeah, and then I get some people go back good question I’ve run this I do this and I feel as though we could benefit each other great answer. Let’s schedule a time Okay, it’s not offensive to ask why So I asked a guy why and then he’s like, oh, yeah, I’d just like to meet them When you’re really getting down into someone’s core, they start getting defensive If I ask you what your social security number is what your religion is, you know, I can see it happening now Yeah, when was the last time you had sex, you know any of these can have much money is in your bank any of these questions are Private and personal But they’re also a fact This is your social security number your bank accounts gonna go up and down You know your religions X and the last time you had sex was none of your business, but they’re all facts Okay but if you start getting into these people they start getting a bit squirming if you ask them what Really excites you why do you want to do X? That’s revealing your soul. Hmm. And a lot of people don’t like to do that. Yeah, okay So you say to people? Why do you want to do it the first answer of every single question every time I ask that is I went in there Ignore it, right. It’s just you’re just getting over that hurdle. Whatever they say I don’t care not shooting into it because they’re making a statement For me to make for me to assume that there’s some kind of logical reason behind it though The answer that giving me is an answer that makes sound smart Okay, nine times out of ten as I say it’s not so I ignore it I go Why do you want to me that I’ve already gone asleep right? Whatever the answer, okay Is that really gonna do it for you? I’m kind of feeding this something a little bit underneath this Can we can we delve into that? You know, what makes this so important and tell me if we do this are you gonna wake up a two o’clock in the morning at any year and a future and go I Can’t believe it did that. Hmm? Because I’m not kind of feeling as though you would So what do we need to do to give you that 2:00 a.m. Wake-up call and Then well I’d like to do so this guy wanted to meet them what band journey So we went through the Y’s and I always say ask to ask why three times? Okay, and We chat with him He is a very successful CNBC commentator big money, man. And There was a time in his life when he was at school, and it was at college and stuff in university Well, he had no money, you know Like most people are college new University and he used to sleep on his mates couch And he was the lead singer of a cover band for journey, okay Annie went through the usual kind of turmoil of life and the losses and the loves and the pains and the growth like we all Do it’s called life all the way through Journey, was there almost playing the soundtrack to his movie? Now he’s very successful. Yeah. Okay now he’s enjoying the twilight years now He’s enjoying the the benefit of that period so he wanted to thank journey For giving him the soundtrack to his life Yeah, so I said great. So you’re telling me that if we actually woke up backstage After that hot and suede from doing a concert and you shake their hands that’s gonna be the finale of your movie you Know they ain’t gonna remember you’re they’re gonna be like, you know, yeah. Hey, yeah girl gone, you know We need to get a two o’clock Wake-up call going here. Mm-hmm. So and that’s where I get involved. Now. I know the story now I know the growth now. I know the passion now, I know the reason I’ve got the ingredients So I was able to connect with journey. Mm-hmm. Tell him about this story Yeah, and I wanted to see how we could do something about it and we found out along the way Then my clients brother’s son had autism The drummers son of journey has autism So why don’t we do this? for autism Speaks why don’t we Satisfy this clients fantasy Conclude the chapter in his in his movie By also raising awareness for autism I gave a win that was beyond financial gain to the lot Ben Mm-hmm So we took it as far as we could and my client actually walked on stage in San Diego live on stage during Concert and sang for tunes with the rock band journey and is now deemed as the shortest term lead singer of the rock band So that’s far cooler than just going backstage and shaking hands. That’s the 2:00 a.m. Wake-up call. That’s the stuff forever He’s gonna be boring people at cocktail stories. Yes That’s incredible. So these these win-wins seem to be part of your secret sauce. How how do you find them? What are you what are you thinking? What’s the process behind finding these win-wins Oh primitive. I From a very early age And my background is I was a bricklayer in East London Yeah, so, you know I consider myself an educated man But school had nothing to do with that and I want to get into a certain crowd I want to get into a certain event for me to be able to do that The easiest way for me to attract you is to bring value So I believe that if I want to start a relationship, I’ve got to be the first person who brings something to the party so I will actually research and stalk and of course like our iPhones and our Websites and our internet give us a brilliant ability to stalk people now And to educate themselves on what they like and they dislike so whenever I go to someone I go Hey, I want to be able to do this like the autism so and this is my client But hey, I was thinking before we get into what I want I believe this can raise awareness for something that you need attention ball – yeah, so I’m now giving them a reason to continue with the conversation Does that make sense like when I had Andreia, but Shelly come in? I actually contacted him and I said look, you know I’d like you to come in and actually sing at a dinner party for six people. Mm-hmm. We’re talking about one of the most iconic singers in the world Any and an Italian icon? Yeah, it’s like asking Elvis to come and sing in your barbecue, you know with only six year mates But I had to make it a width I said, however, I’m aware That you’re heavily promoting the Cancer Foundation. You’re part of in your supporting I’ve got an idea how I can actually benefit that so Can I continue I’m bringing value straight in and telling it what’s in it for you the bigger The celebrity the bigger the profile and stature even if it’s only assumed by the person they may not be that big but They may act big you. Got a panda up to it a little bit bring value in and whenever any of these people are talking to you the first thing they’re gonna do when they look at you is go What’s he after? Hmm now I’ve been in some lucky lucky places with some very well-known and famous people and I’ll be talking to them and you’ll see someone come over and You’ll see the person look at them and you can see in their head. They’re going okay It’s gonna be someone wanting a selfie. Is this do I know this person? Who is it? What are they after how’s this conversation? It’s a horrible situation to me, and I would not want to be as famous as that, you know, I see these people and it makes me cringe and they’ve said, you know They don’t know where it’s gonna go but if you can come over and go hey, um I got something I wanted to ask you but should before I get into that. I know you’ll release in the book I know you’re part of a movie. I know you’re trying to raise funds for this. I’ve got something that can help with that Yeah, yoku desire to continue I’m giving you something of value right and That is the best way – can I keep the door open? I also believe that Relationships have a greater return rate than anything you’ll ever find on Bitcoin and so I’m a great person that tries to Constantly mold and nurture and term relationships I have this this little thing that I go on about how many 300 year old oak trees do you have in your olih decks and I tell people that when you meet someone that Oak trees are tiny little seed and you’re gonna water it. You’re gonna nurture it. You’re gonna protect it, but for many many years Anything can destroy that young tree anything bad whether a rumor? Some malicious gossip a competitor. It’s very weak and fragile But when it becomes a solid oak tree, there’s a hundred two hundred three hundred years old You can drive a bus into it and the bus is gonna come off worse Yeah so the focus is when you get a Relationship if you want that relationship to pay dividends and to become a 300 year old oak tree Nurture that baby yeah Wow Steve you you mentioned that you grew up in a family of bricklayers. Mm-hmm in London and Order how did you come from there to being CEO of a luxury concierge sort of company? How did you make that huge lead? I? Don’t think I did. I think I just played in a different playing field for many years as I was as I was growing up and Very this makes me feel bad for saying but I need to say it I felt that I was incredibly poor, you know, we never I never had to take away until I was 18 years old Never had a take away. The idea of having food to delivered was something you saw in Hollywood movies, okay We got a new car once and it was 12 years old. Mmm So the idea of having a new car was just just beyond me. I think I went on holiday twice So I grew up and left home and tried to find a better way of life Seriously thinking that I had a poor hard childhood, yeah it wasn’t until I grew up homes in my late 20s that I realized how wealthy I actually was and how Fortunate was I knew what it was like to get up at 4 o’clock in the morning I get up at 4 o’clock in the morning now Because what I need to do if I need to make a phone call And I need to speak to someone in Japan on the Middle East or something and it’s 2 o’clock in the morning and we’re talking About you know, three chords of a million dollars to get something doing you can be damn sure I’m on that phone call because I’ll do what’s necessary And now I’ll put the dogs out and the lot of stuff and I’ll get back in a bit okay, we know what it’s like to work and Entrepreneurs don’t work until five o’clock they work until when the job’s done. And so I was raised on that as I grew up I realized the ethic and the strength that I was given because of that lifestyle Served me well to achieve anything I wanted yes Understanding that also you communicate with people you communicate with people differently on the street than you’re doing an office Ok, if you’re on the street and you know, I’m not trying to make out as I’m freaking 2pac or anything, but you know If you want to build insight and you’re you’re with someone You know some guys and stuff like that and you tell a joke that offends you the guy’s gonna tilt turning you You know tell you to go screw yourself, you know You’re gonna know you stepped over to mark too far and you got a lump in your head You know, it’s that it’s that kind of not brutal, but they walk communication method Yeah that suddenly teaches you how there are those you can play with and push a little bit further and there were those you can’t And you treat these people a little bit different one of the if you want to learn about communication skills Real good communication skills go to a bar Mm-hmm and go and watch the bartender and go to somewhere. That’s not you know, we’re in Hollywood at the moment So, you know, maybe go into like a Beverly Hills bar or you know? go into like a Hollywood bar or something like that and you’ll see the bartender there and they will look across and there will be The crew in the jacket. They’re just coming from work. They were girls on the girls night out There’d be the guy that’s traveling through there’d be the local tourists that you know Just want to go in this call bar when in split seconds that bartender will react to every single play. They’ll go Hey guys, how you doing this evening? If you need anything, just let me know and they’d be like hey girls We’re going crazy tonight. Should we start with shots? You will just see her and him react differently on the spur With each person the communication of a good bartender is second to none You can learn so much by watching that split reaction based on the body language the response the eye Contact for the person you’re going into Wow. Yeah, that’s a that’s a great lesson to take from a bartender. I was a bar I was a doorman it’s right and so, you know I was on the door and you’ve got you’ve got a bunch of guys walking to the door and You can’t just stare with them because then they’re gonna can like, you know chest puff as they walk over to you So you’ve kind of got to do all this kind of thing and just nonchalantly Can I look as though you don’t care while trying to clock as much of? The body language as you can to know whether or not you’ve got a problem walking Awards. Yeah, and you’ve got to decide very quickly Based on how they approach as to whether or not you say. Sorry guys. It’s actually busy in there at the moment But hey If you come back in about another hour all those place down the road for you to be really cooled it You’ve got to know how to handle that real quick or you go the wrong way and you go No You know and all of a sudden It all kicks off you push someone into a corner doesn’t matter how small they are that coming out with fists. Mm-hmm. Yeah So how did your life as a bouncer then help you to to build the the network that you have now? well It was very easy because for a start I made sure that I wasn’t I wasn’t on the worst club in the area So, you know I was on an area that you know people wanted to make sure they could get in they they could spend money Yeah, so I had people wanting something from me Mm-hmm, if I could help them by making sure they got the better table or on certain nights even going Hey, it’s a bit quiet in here tonight So go down the road go to a different one and come back here tomorrow You know if I could start giving them value by giving him advice and get and showing him where different events were then? I became a value-add I had she became an Oracle of where the cool events were Within my area and then before I knew it I started throwing my own events and then started growing from there So one minute I’m you know, letting you get into a Hong Kong note a nightclub The next thing I’m doing is throwing VIP parties at the Monaco Grand Prix. So it’s the exact same thing just On a bigger budget and scale and location. Just same thing different stamp it Yeah, and having heard the Bluefish thing come in there so in the 90s where we didn’t have this thing called Internet and we decided to make this leap from Nightclubs and parties to start throwing our other our own events We would invite people by fax in them where it would be. We remember dial-up, you know heard of it Yeah, you’d heard of it. Yeah, so like after about 15 hours all the faxes have gone through and We would fax them where the location was and we would send them a password And the reason for the password was because we wanted to make it childish because the worst The worst group of people in the world of middle management. I Know there’s probably middle management out there moaning about it, but be you are you’re the worst people Because there’s a chip on that shoulder and so, you know We would send out this these silly things and it’d be like name two of the Teletubbies Finish this sentence one fish two fish red fish and the third one We only had three we didn’t to complicate it. The third one was named the lion out of the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe okay, so we would have people walking up to the door and they would lean in Lego tinky-winky po was like in he go Yeah, have a good night. They were they were confident enough that they could ever giggle Yeah, but the thing about our souls is they don’t get better with age So if you can cut them off at the door You don’t suffer any problems later on you get you allow those to go in there and they get a couple of whiskey’s and beers Under their belt all of a sudden their Bruce Lee and they think they can take the big guy on. Yeah. Got your problems If you could cut it off at the door, you saved yourself to the the dancin in there So we would actually do this for people and we would give them all these different kind of passwords ‘islam was the funniest one, you know the line of which in a wardrobe, you know Because we didn’t have smartphones or things like that If if any of the other people turning up didn’t have kids and they were screwed, you know, they never had a clue What the bloody line was called, so they would come up and they’ll be like, I don’t know Roger Like lovey I was a lion called Raja. Lion-o Alania go Andy and so it became this way of just breaking the ice We would get people just walk up to the door and I’d be like I’m here for the party and we’ve got like a yacht going on in the background and it’s bouncing and the music he’s going off and everyone’s screen and we’ll be like, I don’t think there’s a party in my We were just blanket maybe a lineup of people behind a movie like hey No, I don’t think so I think it’s good about I think you need to get somewhere else because there’s no boy here for you tonight And they did go off all buggered off and then the next guy come and go tinky-winky million to go, you know So it was just a way of that happening there We didn’t know what we were doing There’s a there’s a brilliant guy in New York called Ari Mizell and he came up with this little sentence Or this little quote that made me realize this what I’d been doing for my life. He says get going and then get good So in the get going aspect, I was building a community, you know, I was building a Rolodex I didn’t know what it was gonna do I just thought if I knew a bunch of rich people I could get a rich job Because guess what poor people they can’t afford nothing. So Hang around with rich people. That was my entire Chi I told you it was primitive So I started throwing rich parties and it just grew from there and I thought to myself any minute now I’m gonna just like ask one of them for a job But before I knew it I was traveling the world throwing amazing events working from everyone from now as to well and John to to Richard Branson so just kind of exploded but it was all the same thing and we launched this we launched his company and we came up with his precocious name and I forget what the bloody company was called because he lasted about two weeks because people would Start calling us and they’d be like are you that blue fish company would be like no We’re not we are you know the rubber loves I’m Greek god or something and they’d be like I’m looking for blue fish it submit and we were like well we Do the stuff and we got so it took about two weeks before we had to do a name change Yeah, so the beautiful thing is I’ve noticed if I tell you I’m brilliant. Mm-hmm. Its marketing branding and self-promotion Mm-hmm, if your best friend tells you I’m brilliant. It’s gospel. Mmm. So when everyone started calling us blue fish We had to be blue fish. So we learned very early on That is not what I do that’s important. It’s what you want me to do So we became that person whatever you wanted to do wherever you wanted to go. You want to do some travel stuff Yeah, we can organize that. You want to go down and see a Titanic? Well organized that you want to hang out get a guitar lesson from ZZ Top or drum lesson from Guns & Roses yeah, well handle all of that, you know, we just became this thing and then in 2000 I think it was 2002 We were contacted by the New York Fashion Week. Okay, and they wanted us to become the official concierge. Actually tell a lie They wanted us to help them with their VIPs So I went yeah sure again get go and then get good You know, I’ll work it out later Whatever that means and they actually did a press release that we were the official concierge of the New York, Fashion Week It was eight years into Bluefish being in business And this was the first time anyone had ever called us a concierge Wow. They didn’t know what to call us before concierge became a good-enough box to stick us in and since then we became a Concierge firm but up until then. Yeah, we would just blue fish and I still think we’re just blue fish Yeah, it was it was really clear in reading your book that the company’s about people. It’s about the people in the company it’s about the way that you treat the people you work with that there is something more human to what you do than just You know a travel agency or something like that There’s there’s another layer to it And one thing you talked about in having a password like bluefish is kind of filtering out your relationship So we’ve talked a lot about building relationships and filtering them out a little bit nowadays How do you still know when not to work with someone? So, I believe your stomach is far more intelligent than your head yeah and our eyes are tricked Constantly you see it going funny. Yeah, he’s got a sharp suit He’s got 50 grand older Marwan, you know, he’s just got out of our way or Bentley or something like that So he must be successful. Yeah, it’s telling you this because he’s got all the trinkets of success. Mm-hmm But your stomach it’s kind of like giving you a few butterflies Yeah, you know is there is the watch of fake, you know, did he meant the car was he just trying to impress me? Trust that because every time I’ve trusted that I got screwed So now when I meet people and again, I don’t know if there’s a street thing But it’s that situation where you have all these reactions Because we’re animals. We are the slowest evolving technology in the planet, and we’re only getting slower based on the exponential growth of everything else, you know and We’ve got a situation where we’ve got fight-or-flight mode Built into us we will pass the hedge any muscles. We’re on that Okay, our eyes aren’t looking over and going where hang on let me think about this. No, we’re on stance Straight off the bat. You’ve got to learn and acknowledge the fact that we’re still pack animals we still need we still have the basic need and desire to mate and communicate and relate and group and That actually goes even further into trust and when you see these people your reactions are actually very very good We’ve got a good mechanism built into us, but our heads actually squirm with it So whenever I meet someone I let my brain fall asleep Which ain’t too hard and I trust my stomach here implicitly and I ask myself a question I asked myself this question with absolutely everyone. I’m eight Would I want to have a drink with you? That’s it it’s a simple one, you know neither meal No go away for the weekend, you know not not getting a big major business with you what I want to sit at a bar and Tell rude jokes and drink your whiskey with you. You’ve got the chug test right? It’s the chug test You know, would I want to do that? Mm-hmm and If I’m gonna like I don’t think I would There you go. I’ve done you’re not in my life. Do you know in my rolodex? Well, if you are there’s a little mark on there somewhere, but you’re not you’re not in my circle It’s very simple and it’s also not harsh. I’ve actually said to people, you know, I know You’re a cool cat But there’s something that’s not gelling between us So let’s not waste each other’s time here, you know And I’ve said that the people I had a guy actually was flaunting her and was floating around at an event that I was at and he was he was like a little fly and Everything about him his personality his look you start whatever There was something about in there was just kind of like not sitting well with me there was no way in a world meaning we’re gonna become buddies and so John another one of his little buddies as a Talking a bunch of people would come over here a second So he came over and then we went over to the bar and I said look, I know you intend to talk to me But I want to make it clear to you that me and you are not gonna become pals Okay, I don’t understand why but my stomach’s telling me that it’s just not gonna happen You are wasting an immense amount of time by focusing on me when you could be focusing on all the other people in this room And it could be working for you So I want to pay respect to my time But I also want to respect you so that you don’t go home at the end of the night Losing out because you waste all your energy on about opportunity I said, so leave me alone Go and focus on these people here To have good luck and get something done because you’re spinning wheels him in Okay, and he was kind of a bit kind of Shaken up by that that approach but it needed to be a quick swift band a get this done So I can get back to a conversation without him being in that circle and he went off, you know He came up to me at the end of the night, and he just said thank you so much He said I made some great connections done. But you know, the funny thing is his persona had changed Where he was buzzing and trying to get in he was aggravating Now they had gone out and they actually had a few communications. He had some confidence. He came up who was a bigger guy Yeah, do you know I’ve seen him at other events and we’ve actually had a whiskey yeah, so, you know I won’t mention his name. Yeah, Mike Let’s go that’s great how things can can turn in how you you you make a great point that there’s an opportunity cost You know in a bad relationship, but to focus on the good ones. It’s a cancer Yeah, I’ll give you one of the worst situations and I’ve had it before. Yeah, are you in a relationship? Right. Okay. So have you ever had a shitty phone call? Yeah And then we do with them and then someone you love or that’s close to you comes into you After you’ve come off that phone call What’s the first thing that happens? You carry some of your shitty response Over to them don’t you now if they love you nine times out of ten now turn around here and go Whoa, don’t give me that and then you can go. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to I was on a bad phone call What if that other person is a new relationship? That young oak tree we spoke about There doesn’t know you well enough yet to challenge you Mhm, and then they hang up and they go what the bloody hell was wrong with Steve. I thought we were friends Well, maybe I’m not Don’t choke they don’t ask you the question. So you’ve taken that bad Call and you turned it into a spreading cancer, and it’s now just infected a new relationship Yeah And I know it’s full weld if I have bad phone calls and you know when that bad You get off the phone call and you’re tired Mm-hmm is worn you out take something area? Absolutely Does because you’re trying to pivot you’re trying to adapt trying to edit your no no No what I didn’t I didn’t mean it to come across that you’re constantly dancing on eggshells And it wears you out and you can’t make another call you’ve then got to can I get your flow state back up again if you get rid of those out of your life you Stay in your flow state if I challenge you this afternoon. Okay, we’re not it’s afternoon. You wouldn’t have time But if I said to you tonight Found four of your best mates. Could you do that? You smiling now? Yeah, I bet you you’re lying And should I tell you why you’re lying? Okay, because after your second call It’s probably midnight because when you’re on the phone with your mates, you’re not doing this. It’s just going you’re gonna go Oh crap. Oh god phone for people tonight I’ve only found two, you know, because you’re having fun right the time flies, but there’s no effort is there there’s no stress There’s no friction But if I said to you phone for people that you dislike them in your circle that you do business with that You don’t really gel with You’re also not going to phone all four because you’ve got to spend the next four hours giving me great excuses Why you couldn’t do it? Those people should not be in your life. The thing is that you need a life that has no stress. No Friction and if people are causing you those friction, which let’s be honest. Most friction comes from bad people Get them out of your circle because then what happens is everyone you’re calling everyone you’re talking to your this me and we had here It got arranged because we had mutual friends. Yes. They contact me. I love hearing from them I didn’t know you right but I know them and I know that cool cats and I know they don’t know many pricks So I I took that as a good chance that this was gonna be a good conversation But it did I’m glad I did as well. Yeah Wow so Steve, another thing that you talk about is How you want to get better all the time and you’ve said that in the book that you have a fear of? The next month being the same as the last month knocking better. How do you keep that up? Well is very easy we’re driven by fear If you walk into a room any room, you know, it could be a restaurant at lunchtime Okay, and you stand up on a table new shell everyone run outside. There’s a million dollars How many people do you think you’re gonna run outside? Oh No many probably not many you stand up on that same table and you shell out fire. Hmm. How many people are outside doing? Bingo, we’re driven and imposed by fear that fight or flight we run away from things far more than we run to things So it’s not a case of oh, I’m not frightened of everything Its redefining. Well, the fear actually makes you move. Yeah. Okay, I’m scared terrified I’ve been in the same position today as I am next month because that eventually will create Stagnant and anything stagnant becomes stale and dies Personally, I don’t want to die. So I tried to challenge myself. I went to a Thai restaurant a couple of days ago Okay, I’m in this Thai restaurant. It’s a Thai restaurant. I’ve been in too many times I love Thai food didn’t mechanize one of the appetizers. It was a new appetizer one there I’ll have that. It was a gamble. It was a risk was I gonna like it? Okay, so I spent for for something on this new appetizer off the menu to find out if I liked it I was challenging myself to just grow my family know this all the time We’re going to a restaurant and we’re try something different or you know when we were in Japan last year I had to go somewhere from our hotel and it was literally at the end of the of the long street But what we did to get to it was we actually went across Down one of the back streets and then across and then down and we Zig zagged all the way down We found two other restaurants and a bar on the way down away. We wanted to go Okay took us about four hours to get there, but we learn areas that we and the following day We went back. We went in one of those restaurants and so we challenged ourselves by the way The appetizers are ahead of their time restaurant was god-awful But I know it I now know what it is. I now know what’s in there. I now know I don’t like it So I educate myself I glue from that experience. Yeah So fear is driving you forward fear is a great thing, you know, I raced motorcycles as well I got a motorcycle scares the shit out of me But all my senses come a liar and it’s excitement and there is a millimeter difference Between fear and excitement. Mmm, and it’s just how you perceive them If you there’s a famous thing where um, some commentators spoke to the guy’ll Olympics and he said are you scared? He said now I’m excited. And so it’s how you actually relate to it But I I use fear to drive me and if I’m getting lazy and if I think well, okay I’m in my I’m in my luck. You know, I mean my flow God everything’s going well for me. I’m being booked for speeches I’m being flown around where I’m good Challenge yourself to do something out of the normal because you don’t want to be in the same place this time next month and it can be as ridiculous as Walking a different way to work Okay, reading a book on a subject you have no Idea of speaking to someone you never thought you would have ever spoken to listening to a podcast I have them I have the iTunes radio on and every now and then I’ll click on world radio Just to be hearing a pop group from Korea or some country music from Poland You know just listeners and you’re right what the hell’s that k-pop of you? Listen to kpop it’s incredible, isn’t it? It’s like NSYNC on acid absolutely incredible They’re brilliant, but I never would have thought I heard a kpop but you know I’m glad to say that I just try different things. Yeah So if fear keeps you going forward so much you taking advantage of it. Why is fear and embarrassment? Holding so many people back it’s not hmm. No, no, no. No, it’s not. Yeah, it’s not it’s the It’s the viewers the whole people that is visibility Okay fear is not fear in itself at all And I can I can give you this one in a story, please and it’s not a pretty story It’s a horrible one I’m walking through a shopping mall in Glendale you know close to us here and there’s me and my wife and in front of us says he’s couple of guys and in front of them is To date one of the largest women I’ve ever seen in my life You know Big woman, okay and what really kind of fascinated and got me kind of? Staring at this woman was not because of her immense size was the fact that this woman had her arms out like this with carrier bags on Each arm and she’d done her shopping and was now going to her car or the bus or her but she was getting home holding these bags out her upper body strength was incredible by holding these banks as I’m going out. Oh and just kind of in awe about how she’s holding these bags out. Um She tripped and she went down Now because she was like that she had no way of bracing herself She had she hit herself in the mall on the concrete floor on her face now I Grabbed her as fast as I could see her going down. There was no way you were stopping this woman going down Luckily, the two gentlemen in front of me were also gentlemen, and they rushed in her babble as well So we got to her as fast as we could but she was down already bags went everywhere It was a mammoth slap Everyone turned around we quickly tried corralling all the bags in and everything like this. She was dazed I didn’t want to move her to see if anything and she started can I come too and she walked back and the the Mole guards came over there and there was a medic rushed over quickly There have been close by so she had everyone that she needed to him We’d got all of her bags of all of her bags close to her and stuff like that and she started coming around She’s looking like this. You should look at and I said to I said yeah, is it is there something you’ve lost if you Thinking that she’s lost a handbag or a purse or something like that or a member of the family She’s trying to look for and she just turned around. She said no. She said I just wanted to make sure no one was videoing The girl with a dad out the following day was bruised and being okay, I I hope she hadn’t hurt She could have cracked her jaw She could have she could hurt herself badly all she cared. That was not the physical pain But the pain of someone video and potentially laughter now, okay, you see people aren’t scared of failing now They’re scared of people actually video in it and it becoming a laughingstock There was a saying that gee I heard from Elon Musk said that they will laugh at you before they applaud And people now are not scared of failure because failure quite simply is an education on what not to do I fail I fail often and I fail up on a regular basis because until I fail I don’t know how to go further Yeah, you know, I don’t know how to push that boundary what ad didn’t work but if I avoid that and do this, hey I’m now 10 steps forward right if I didn’t get the answer I needed what went wrong about that. I asked the wrong question I asked it in the wrong format. Alright next time I won’t do that. You can only progress By failing and scraping your name. Mm-hmm but so many people now are worried about people laughing at them and the people that tell you that you can’t do that and you shouldn’t do it or Terrified you will and prove him wrong. Hmm Hehe See if you have a quote that I wanted to ask you about he said Thanks from your book, you said? Opportunity comes when you’re in the right place to accept it What’s that mean to you? I love being the dumbest person in the room If you think you just you’re the smartest person in your group find a new group Because you got no room for close So you’ve always got to be willing to listen to everyone and Dismiss anyone that need to be but you’ve got to be open you’ve got to be listening to other people on some of the greatest knowledge and education and tweaks that I’ve had for my business my growth my Consulting my speaking has come from people that are nowhere near the industry But they’ve had such a a third eye view of why I’m involved in that they’ve been able to step in and go Well, why are you doing that? I would have thought you would have done that They get the see a better view of it. I’m trying to think who it was and there was Joe polish Said that you can’t see the picture when you’re in the frame And I thought that’s a great perspective to put it. So I listener absolutely everyone the valet boy You’ve got an opinion on my business. I want to hear it yeah, you know because you’re an idiot the second you think You know all of the tricks and the second you think you got it sussed Is a millimeter or a second away before it gets screwed up. Well and and someone like the valet guy might have a really close-up view that could be missed when you’re at 30,000 feet – Absolutely. So listen to absolutely everyone. It doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t cost but it will cost a fortune if you ignore it Yeah See if listening as a theme that we keep him back to and you have a story about a guy who you listen to he He called you and he said he wanted tickets to the Playboy Mansion Yeah, and you were listening close and you could tell in his voice that that wasn’t the truth so we had We had this guy it was funny because I actually got written up in one of America’s biggest Gay magazines about this article it was kind of funny because my my kids think I’m pretty much when the endeth. Oh, So one of the girls was in my office and she’d got this phone call from this guy and she put it through to me and she said I want You to can I get on this call? Because something’s not right. Mm-hmm. She said she I’ve got a feeling about it No, and I so I picked up the phone and this guy’s on the phone. He said oh, yeah Hey, you know, I need two tickets to the Playboy Mansion. Mm-hmm All right. Okay, and he was quite not stroppy. But you know, I was trying to gauge where this was going I finally me get a pad and pen and yeah, let me start taking some details down. So, you know, what’s your name? Where you’re coming from coming in from New York? Okay. Okay, and this this particular? Midsummer Night’s Dream part of that you want to go to Yeah, it is. You want to – yeah, she’d gone over to poison with you. Yeah, she has okay I didn’t have a pad. I didn’t have a pen. Hmm, so I said to the guys hang on me Let me just get another let me get another pen. Hang on. I got you on my headset So, how did you did you come over to California much making out. I’m trying to find a pen. Oh Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I do Oh to go to LA or joy now. I usually go north. What’s up north? Oh, it’s the wine country. Do you know I haven’t been up there? I said it’s kind of long but you know, I’ve never been up there. So why is he so beautiful? Oh, it’s dead bang Voice changed mmm. He’s now talking about something. He’s in – Mm-hmm I’ve always been a whiskey guy. What was the fascination with wine? Oh this grape, it’s from the soil is now there’s passion. I went. Oh, hang on a minute. I found a pen so Just quickly. What was how did you spell your name again? And Okay, two tickets to the play boards that yeah was Bang mood swing was the write down of it. I said, okay Look, I’m just gonna fill in this paperwork while I’m talking to you Can you educate me a little bit more? Tell me about wine. Hmm. I Said you get over often. Is that yeah I try to do this I get there and then we go here and then we go there so the we Was coming in. Yeah, okay So you get up to that so we’re about to Napa do you go where don’t you go? Where do I need to avoid? Oh You need to go here. You need to go there brilliant. Okay, great and I said I said that’s us to to you that always got this that’s how yeah you me and my part of it we Love getting up there. So the partner term came in Okay, lock and load and so he’s going I say, okay, and so I I’ve got everything done I say I’ve got on my paperwork’s I’m sorry that we digressed so much He’s like how okay and you could feel the anticlimax a he was getting awful talking about what he really liked Yeah, so I said so okay So I need to grab your credit card two tickets to the Playboy Mansion if you got your hotel Do we need to saw that now? I’m gonna need a hotel there as well This is a guy go to the Playboy Mansion Mm-hmm, and he’s deflated and having a coffee So and I won’t use his name and I said I I said I’m gonna go out on a limb here and you’re free to hang up on this conversation anytime you like I said, but Here’s how I’m saying. You want two tickets to the Playboy Mansion. Yeah But you don’t care about the Playboy Mansion. You have no interest in the play ball at all Well, yeah I want to go to that Ivan Ben and I want to go I said I’m gonna go out on a limb here You’re gay aren’t you? Hmm? Quiet I’m just waiting for the click This is yeah, why don’t matter I said to me it doesn’t but to you it should I Said because there’s no way in the world couple of gay guys. Should we go to the Playboy Mansion? So what’s the story I talk to you about wine you all over hell I could send you up to Napa Get you in a southerner best vineyards and I reckon we could have a conversation and for an hour Why is the best thing in the world to do I said but a Playboy Mansion that’s not doing it for you? So what’s the driving force behind you need in this? And he says well I’m a broker. I’m a stockbroker And he said no need to be able to throw two goes off off sent he said to my idea as I come back with a bunch of photographs and Everything’s cool. And you know Tell the boys I was at the mansion at the weekend. We’re all good. He said you know the environment here, it’s not one That’s good for me All right. Okay. So this is how we’re gonna do it. I’m gonna sell you two tickets little play your mansion you like Okay, great. So be you ain’t going I Said what we’re gonna do is we’re gonna use that money. We’re going to send you up to the wine country I said you’re gonna have a great time on the way back through LA I’ll get you a couple of stubs from another couple of clients that are going to the mansion you can take those back to the to the floor drop them on your desk and refuse to make any conversation about it and That was it. That’s one had she happened to him So he actually came back through LA he paid and then he took home the stubs I said tell people they don’t allow photographs in there which at the time they weren’t And he was like great I said just leave them on your desk. If anyone says what were you up to? I was in there late at a weekend at a good time. Hey, what happens stays there? I said shut your mouth I said the least you say the more they’ll be interested and that was it So they actually went up to Napa They had a great time and they were still my clients until a while ago when? Sadly there was an accident on one of them died. But yeah, that was that was my story, but they Actually, and it was kind of cool they reached out to one of the biggest gay magazines and told him and so that their names Again to protect his job. They used fake names, but they actually interviewed me for an article in their magazine Well, I was real cool really enjoyed doing it. Yeah, and all that a better experience for them because you listened So again, I said to you right at the beginning the conversation I’ve never given anyone what they asked for I gave them what they needed and desired so these guys They had a goal that Sadly they were being forced to which was to throw someone off a scent Would you just bullshit in today’s world, but that’s what was necessary But what we did was we did it by giving them something that they desired and we gave him a weekend They didn’t like they went over to the west coast for the weekend, you know, they didn’t like they just throw the subs there Yeah that just helping me out with my trash can Perfect Steve before I ask my last question where can people look for you online? Well anyone in the u.s. If they’ve got a cell phone they can text the word ugly Works one word ugly works. Wor KS two three, four, five three, four five Or they can go to Steve D Sims calm subscribe for the newsletter if they actually do either one of those they’ll get a video of my chug test and they’ll also get a PDF of the Bluefish and Playbook that’s featured in this book Wow. Awesome so Steve my final question is you’re talking to someone who’s a leader of their own group and they want to create a culture where people are Like you they’re taking action. They’re making big things happen. What would you suggest to that person? First of the Lord it who’s in your group Okay, because there’s got to be people in the group that should not be in the group and now the cancer cells do you go? Get rid of so first of all you’ve got to have a group in your community that you can communicate with and Then look at them and find out what makes them tick you may get people in there that are just doing it for a job Because they’re trying to make money to make ends meet for X Find out what their eggs is incentivize that X to become just a Y, okay And then look at the people in there the one excitement. I’m a great believer in bonuses, but I hate giving cash The reason is I’ll give you five hundred bucks. Now. You’re gonna go thank you very much. You’re gonna pay your phone bill You’re gonna pay your flight home. You’re gonna pay gas in your tank It’s gonna go on bills. And if I ask you in six months time, what did you do with that five hundred bucks? You’ll go. Oh, I don’t really know. But thank you very much. But instead I have five hundred bucks if I say to you Hey, I believe you like Thai food just found out there’s a new restaurant in your area. I’ve already paid the bill Scheduled it. I’ve covered you you’re gonna have an experience. And again that experience is gonna be one that in a year’s time You’re gonna be turning around going I never got a chance to tell our women that’s high food Restaurant and you can even phone them up in advance and say make sure you give them their appetizer you know that weird working one that tastes like crap so you can share the same experience I did but it’s a you know, Do that kind of thing and they’ll remember it because you remember experiences far more than you do price tags Awesome. See thank you so much. All the best palace is great You

7 thoughts on “The Secret to Making Things Happen | Steve Sims, Founder of The Bluefish

  1. Hey everybody, what's your favorite part? I love all of Steve's tools and stories about listening to people to get down to the real truth!

  2. I really had fun watching this video, I hope that other people are just as entertained when they watch one of my own video's.

  3. I enjoyed this and found it interesting. I found Steve to be very raw, real and confident. This definitely inspires me to be more myself and to surround myself with the right people who click with me & to not waste my time with people who maybe aren't the right crowd. Felt that Steve had a lot of helpful suggestions and wisdom that I can apply to my life. Thanks for the interview and for sharing.

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